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One day when I was in school, many years ago, the school principal wandered into our class room, sat down and started to talk.
He talked and talked; and there was nothing we could do to stop him seeing as how he was in charge!
For once he actually said something that interested me and I never forgot what he said. Not because he was so original but because he was the first person I heard saying it.
That day he spoke about the untapped potential of the human mind and how we are all capable of so much more than we realize.
And how once you learn how to use more of this vast intelligence you can become much more successful.
This distinction has a special significance when it comes to confidence. Because on those days when you are not feeling confident dealing with people the solution to your problems may seem elusive. Even though you are capable of handling the situations you find yourself in.
If you could approach each day with an attitude of demanding more from yourself than anyone else ever would - you would be shocked at what you can achieve. You would be using more of your potential and making great progress.
Silly tasks you have to perform then become stepping stones to something far grander and problems become opportunities for you to grow and impress not only yourself but everyone else around you.
The challenge for you right now comes down to getting started.
Once your engine is running the momentum will keep you going but what do you do if you feel stuck and unable to begin?
You need to learn how to run your brain!
All of that vast potential is not being used because you do not know how to activate it. When you discover how easy it is to become confident with people you will be amazed that something that once seemed so complicated can actually be so simple.
Here is something you can do right now to experience how your mind works.
Think of something you feel confident doing - maybe something you are good at. It does not matter what the activity is. What does matter is that you feel confident when you are doing it.
Now pick a second experience. Something that involves dealing with people. And make sure it is a situation where you have the capability to handle it only your confidence is low.
Now compare how you represent these two experiences in your mind in terms of pictures, sounds and feelings.
Take the second experience and change the way you think about it by giving the picture, sound and feeling the same qualities as the first experience. i.e. picture size and color, sound volume and pitch, intensity of feelings.
Imagine you are tuning in the pictures, sounds and feelings in the same way you would tune in a TV
This is difficult to do the first time you try it but it gets easier with practice.
Why does this process work?
Because the way you represent experiences in your mind determines how you feel. Its like when you watch a scary movie and you heart is pounding even though you are not in danger.
Certain images, certain sounds and a certain atmosphere all combine to change how you feel. However if you changed one key element you would no longer feel scared.
For example if the sound changed to become a high pitched cartoon like voice you might even smile and laugh.
In the context of feeling confident — when you start to discover how you make yourself feel confident by the way you tune your brain you are on the right track to feeling confident whenever you choose.
When you learn more about peak performance you will be able to do this in a matter of minutes. And go from feeling afraid to feeling energized and confident in moments.
This time spend learning how to run your brain will transform the quality of your life even more quickly than you can imagine.
Enjoy rewiring your brain!
About The Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
peter1510@hotmail.com
Right off the top: What is the difference between dating and hanging out?
My teens try to differentiate the two by saying that dating is what you do with someone you want to be serious with. Hanging Out is what you do with good friends.
I guess perhaps age has slowed my mind up somewhat.
Even though I’m not that old.
To me, they seem similar. I should think that you would want to hang out with those you would be interested in dating.
Isn’t that right?
You should be dating, “hanging out”, with those you would like to consider a serious relationship with.
It is in the hanging out with each other that you get to know each other. You get to be around each other with your hair let down. You discover their likes, their dislikes, their habits, idiosyncrasies, hopes, goals, and dreams.
Maybe it would be more correct to want to “hang out” with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
There is so much to learn about each other. So much that can be discovered in their virgin territory of relationship sense. They have lived their entire lifetime without you up until now. You get the opportunity, the unique privilege of peeling back the layers of their life’s experiences, discovering the details of what has brought them to this point. What has made them who they are. Why it is that they have found they not only like what you are, but are indeed falling in love with who you are!
That may be the most revealing discovery of all….To you!
So get together. “Hang Out”. Discover all the wonderful things and depth of personality that exists in the person who is systematically stealing you heart away.
Enjoy the journey. It is the voyage of a lifetime!
Bob Curtis has been writing articles, short fiction and poetry for over 30 years. He is the managing director of http://www.People4People.blogspot.com and is the president of Nexus Publishing (nexus4u.blogspot.com). He assists with Blue Romance (http://www.moonlitefire), a site promoting “positive” romance.
Any time we start something new it is exciting and we are very motivated and committed. As time goes by, however, the burst of enthusiasm can wane as the reality of how much work is going to be involved kicks in. When you find yourself slacking a little and not being as enthused about the new change or goal you are working towards, that isn’t a sign to quit. It is a sign that it is time to re-commit.
I am in the fourth month of my “New Program” of eating right and exercise. The first three months I was excited, enthused and rearing to go. However, I have found that the last month has been a tad more challenging and I have begun to slip a bit in my new exercise and eating habits. As I waned so did my results, which made me think it wasn’t working. Closer examination revealed that it wasn’t the system that wasn’t working; any system will work if you work it. But, it isn’t magic. It takes effort and, most of all, commitment. When I realized that my commitment had slipped I recommitted and got back on track. This is all part of the process and I don’t see my temporary slide in commitment as a failure. I see it as an opportunity to strengthen my resolve and continue on the journey.
The more you renew your commitment the stronger it will be. Commitment isn’t a magic pill, take it once and you’ve got it. Commitment is something that needs to be tended to, adjusted and strengthened. I have begun to renew my commitment every day, which helps to remind me how much I really want to make this change work and stick. You might not have to renew your commitment as often, but it does pay to check in and see where you are on the commitment scale. If you notice that you are not where you want to be with your goals it might just be that it is time to renew your commitment.
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD, is a Certified Master Coach specializing in working with business owners and professionals in being more profitable and productive while staying sane and balanced. Coach Lee is the publisher of the award winning e-zine, 365 Days of Coaching. Her first book, 365 Days of Coaching - Because Life Happens Every Day (Universal Publisher, 2004) was named a finalist for Best Book 2004 by Publish.com and has a five star rating on Amazon.com.
Living a creative life is often very closely connected with our feelings and emotions. It is no coincidence that those of us who are creative also tend to share traits of being emotional, sensitive, and good at communicating with others.
To be able to use creativity as a means of connecting with other people then, it’s essential to be able to tap into our own deep feelings and experiences within, and then convey them in an articulate way to our intended audience.
It might seem at first that this idea only relates to a specific form of creativity and is only relevant for writers, musicians, painters and so forth, those who are in the “Creative Arts”.
For example, an author writing a new crime thriller may be trying to communicate feelings of excitement, danger, adventure and fear. The quality of the writing determines how successful they are in conveying these emotions to their readers.
But think more carefully. Anyone who uses their creativity in their career or projects is in some way essentially seeking to communicate.
A fashion designer with their new range of teenage fashions may be wishing to communicate feelings of fun, sophistication and style.
A photographer with their exhibition of 1950s style black and white pictures may be trying to inspire feelings of nostalgia, childhood and a loss of innocence.
A graphic designer with their new magazine cover may be trying to appeal to their target market using intelligence, wit and a sense of individuality. They may be seeking to attract a readership who consider themselves to be intelligent, witty and individual.
A museum curator, when creating a new exhibition on the history of space travel may seek to communicate feelings of awe, wonder, excitement and man’s ability to achieve the seemingly impossible.
All of these examples share one thing in common. They are people using their creative abilities to communicate with their intended audience on some emotional level.
The motives may of course be different, and each individual may use a variety of methods and techniques from project to project, but the aim throughout is constant - to engage their audience and arouse an emotional reaction. And by doing this they make a lasting impression, enough that their audience wants to read their next book or visit their next show.
Think about your creative projects. When you create do you begin with an aim, motive or intended outcome on an emotional or connecting level?
When we do, we can create work that has more impact and therefore lasts longer in the memories of our audience. By having our intentions clearly outlined before we set about creating, it can help us stay focused on the outcome.
It doesn’t mean our creativity will be hindered or suppressed, in fact quite the opposite happens.
For example if you were asked to write a story that has an emotional impact you may take some time to come up with any ideas about the kind of emotions you want to convey and then take longer to choose one and begin to develop it.
But if you were asked to write a story that recounted a deep loss for example, it’s likely you’d very quickly be able to call upon your own experiences of memories of that feeling in your own life and use your creativity to compose a piece of writing that effectively communicates these feelings to your reader.
So for your next creative project, whatever it may be, give careful thought to the emotion and the communication behind the creativity.
Remember ultimately that the work we all most connect to, hold most dear and remember longest, is that which speaks to us on a deep level of feeling and emotion.
© Copyright 2006 Dan Goodwin.
Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin is the author of “Create Create!”, a FREE twice monthly ezine for people who want simple and powerful articles, tips and exercises to help them unleash their creative talents. Sign up right now and get your FREE “Explode Your Creativity!” Action Workbook, at http://www.CoachCreative.com
* Sylvia Plath teaches a valuable lesson about the Even Flow - opening the channels for creativity, regardless of this is for poetry or not.
Sylvia Plath was a poet and that was her job and her life.
She would every day no matter what, as soon as breakfast was over and no matter where she was in the world, sit down with her notebook and just start to write - about absolutely anything at all.
As she explains, this was NOT in order to create a wondrous new poem, but ONLY in order to keep the channels open, keep in the flow.
It wasn’t about practising either, but simply an exercise in FLOW - and she was very adamant about doing this, put it before many other if not all other things because she considered it so very important.
Because if a good idea came along or an insight at any time of the day which was to come afterwards, the channels would be open and a super poem would just simple glide out and through and become, there and then.
So she would write about anything whatsoever, no holds barred - a shadow on the windowsill, a bit of lettuce, an old mushroom she’d found on a walk and brought back to her room. About the table cloth, about her hands, about a little pool of light on the carpet or about her feelings of having nothing whatsoever new to say - and just let it go from there for her “morning exercise” - no expectations of it other than knowing the ACT of doing it was what did the trick.
I read her biography and this really stuck with me. I understood it right away and I implemented it right away too. Switch on computer, call up blank word document and just start writing.
Often, I would start with the words, “What shall I write about today?” and sometimes it would go on like this, “I really don’t know, everything seems a bit far away and nebulous, jeez I wish I was somewhere else, somewhere fresh and breezy, with a wide blue sky …”
As you can imagine, from there you can and most importantly, you DO automatically get into all sorts of places, all sorts of states and the flow really does come, it just happens and Ms Plath was absolutely right, it really does open the channels.
Now as to application of this.
They are veritably endless.
What channels are the most important to you, bring you the most rewards, carry the most important things like poetry was to Sylvia Plath and story telling to Silvia Hartmann in their respective times?
Creative music? Painting?
Loving perhaps?
Now that’s an interesting idea, isn’t it.
You could have your breakfast and immediately afterwards and as a part of a routine just like brushing teeth, find something to love in your environment - a toy or nic-nac, a shadow, a curtain, a house plant, a table top - like in the original usage of the pattern, it is NOT about the object or the outcome but simply to open the channels for the FLOW.
It might be more urgent to you to *be MORE loved* instead and you might want to practise receiving with the brushing of your teeth instead - receiving energy from the same toy or nic-nac, from a shadow, curtain or a house plant, anything in your environment at all, and letting it into your heart.
And as the Sylvia Plath exercise was NOT about making a poem to be sold later, this is not about making you be healed but only about opening the channels and practicing the FLOW - because when it flows, it flows and you get all these other benefits naturally and as a side effect, of course.
This is a truly superb pattern to be applied to all and everything which may be important to you at any particular time; what makes it so superb is the insistance on the FLOW as opposed to the PRODUCT.
Bringing in the PRODUCT disturbs the flow - of course! - and that is a fantastic reminder that there are certain things that, if done for their own purpose and aim, are the true building blocks and pre-requisites for the products which may follow - be they paintings, or stories, or poems, or our abilities to give and receive this and that.
These products are a result of a well established Even Flow and that is something people tend to forget in their hurry towards and focus on the “end result” - when the products are in truth, nothing more than the wake left behind a ship which indeed, contains all the valuables.
The Sylvia Plath Pattern Of Flow (Metaphor & Poetry)
by Silvia Hartmann 2003. All Rights Reserved.
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